Sailor Blues
by LunarRhapsody
Summary: Ranma Saotome isn't a girl. She's a man among men - or at least, was. But she definitely doesn't like prancing around in some stupid leotard just because some cat told her she was Sailor Moon, and that she had to fight monsters to protect the weak and search for some probably weak and prissy princess. Still, at least she's not alone in her suffering.


The day Ranma's life changed was a regular day. And it all started on the way to school.

Of course, being a regular day in the Nerima ward of Tokyo didn't exactly qualify as a regular day in most of the world.

For example, in most places, a bunch of zombies chasing you would be at least a bit weird. However, to Ranma and in Nerima in general, it was perfectly normal, if a bit annoying.

Thankfully, the zombies weren't too threatening. Unless they were set on a target, they would just sort of stop and loiter around, doing nothing but groaning and drooling like stereotypical zombies usually did.

Unfortunately, the zombies had been set on a target: one Saotome Ranma, who was, even as he jumped back a few meters every couple of seconds to get out of the zombies' reach, terribly bored.

'Seriously, Gos? Zombies?' he asked, watching one of the featureless corpses stumble towards him

Behind the zombies stood another zombie, though he wasn't so much an actual zombie as zombie-like, with deep, sunken eyes, dark hair, and a very forgettable face. 'Finally, I can get rid of Saotome, and me and Akane can be together forever!' Gosunkugi said to himself, soft enough that barely even he could hear it over the zombie attacks. His voice rose, becoming just barely loud enough that Ranma could hear him over top of the horde. 'Nothing can stand in my way! So long as I hold this book of the dead, I can control these zombies to fight for me!'

Ranma dodged back from a lunge by one of the zombies and jumped on top of a nearby fence, bounding up to a rooftop soon afterwards. 'So all I gotta do is get that book away from you, huh? Easy as pie,' he boasted. His eyes traced the environment – there were poles everywhere, enough of them that he could reach Gosunkugi without being caught by the zombies – not that that would matter.

They were honestly pretty pathetic zombies, at least in Ranma's opinion. They were absurdly slow, nowhere near as fast as him.

As Gosunkugi kept monologuing to himself about what he'd do once Ranma was 'out of the picture' by which he probably meant dead, Ranma leapt from pole to pole, thanking his lucky stars the zombies weren't more agile like he thought they might be. The zombies, too dumb to notice where he'd gone, simply stood still and stared around, moaning.

Soon, Gosunkugi had reached the part of his monologue rant where he'd started to laugh like a cliché villain from some magical girl anime or something like that.

Ranma snorted. He jumped down, pulled the book out of Gosunkugi's hands, and ripped it apart in the space of a couple of seconds.

The zombies disappeared in puff of smoke, and it took a couple of seconds for Gosunkugi to notice what had happened. He wasn't laughing any more.

His eyes narrowed. 'D-Damn you, Saotome; foiling my plans again! I will get A-Akane to love me, just you see!'

And he ran off.

Ranma sighed, flicking his pigtail with his right hand. 'Is Gos ever gonna learn?' he grumbled. If he kept doing all those dumb dark magic things to get Akane, eventually his heart would just be broken.

Speaking of Akane, she had gone to school early today; she'd wanted to be involved with some sort of club talking about this new 'Sailor V' magical girl show or something. Ranma kicked at the ground. 'I just don't get it,' he said, rolling his shoulders while he walked. Sailor V seemed pretty cool, but he couldn't really understand why girls wanted to watch a show where this girl dressed up in a strange Sailor outfit and killed monsters, foiling a crime syndicate or something.

Had Ranma been more observant he'd have noticed that the times that Akane was watching the TV with Sailor V on it were either the news times, or a show that followed Sailor V's actual adventures throughout the world. But he wasn't, so he didn't.

Instead, what happened was that Ranma walked through the empty Nerima street, thinking to himself about that weird Sailor V thing while looking up at the sky, and as such he didn't notice the cat that walked onto the street in front of him.

The cat, meanwhile, was following an energy signature that she had felt that was the signature of Sailor Moon, the guardian of Love and Justice. Her name was Luna, and she had an odd crescent moon symbol on her head.

As she turned the corner, an odd sense of anticipation filled Luna's stomach. This was the Sailor Moon she had been searching for over the last maybe couple of weeks.

Then she shook her head. Why did she have to be nervous? After all, Sailor Moon wouldn't react too badly to her – she was sure of it.

Neither of them were paying too much attention to the road. So it was only a matter of course that, despite Ranma's usual grace and attention, and Luna being a cat where those things generally came with the territory, Ranma tripped over Luna.

The instant he felt his foot catch on something and his body starting to fall towards the ground, Ranma's eyes widened and he tried to right himself before he fell. Unfortunately, even though Ranma theoretically had enough time and space, fate wasn't going to have it, so he fell flat on his face.

Luna, meanwhile, had fallen onto her side, hurting a little. 'Owww…' she murmured, low enough that she hoped no-one could hear her. Until she noticed the aura that the one who had tripped her had.

Luna quickly righted herself, and gave a soft 'nya', stretching out in a downwards dog position.

A couple meters away, Ranma's eyes popped open. That sound…

Luna shook her body, and gave a bright smile. So, this was Sailor Moon, huh? She turned towards the warrior for Love and Justice, who looked awfully masculine for such a thing.

Luna shook her head; no matter. She'd teach Sailor Moon – whatever her, or his if that really was the case, actual name was – the way to be a real warrior of Justice and Love.

The moon cat bounded up to the front of the fallen Sailor Senshi, and looked towards his face. This was a bit weird, especially since she knew Sailor Moon was supposed to be a girl. But she let that slide, chalking it up to more of those faulty memories she had, or some sort of magic or something.

A couple of seconds later, Sailor Moon, whose eyes had zeroed in on her as soon as she'd jumped in front of him, screamed and jumped to his feet. He cowered away, tears almost starting to fall from his eyes.

Saying that startled Luna would be a bit of an understatement. The scream and sudden catlike movement had made her jump herself, over the top of a trash can to the other side to get out of the soon-to-be Sailor Senshi's field of view.

Meanwhile, a few seconds after the cat had gone out of his sight, Ranma took a few deep breaths and started to relax. 'Just a cat... Just a cat,' he muttered to himself, remembering the recent incident he'd had with Shampoo and the training Cologne had given him to get over his fear of cats.

His fear hadn't gone away, but it kind of helped.

Luna watched on from the shadows, wondering how this person would become a guardian of Love and Justice.

Oh well; who was she to question her instincts?

* * *

Ranma stood outside his homeroom in the hallway, grumbling and muttering curses to himself while he held a bucket in each hand. 'Dammit. Of course runnin' into a cat like that means I'm gonna be late.'

He had arrived a few minutes after roll, and his homeroom teacher had forced him to stand outside in the hall. It was a surprisingly light punishment for Furinkan lately, considering that usually Miss Hinako usually drained the ki of the delinquent students, but it was still as effective as ever. It had effectively drained any energy he'd had.

Soon enough, Ranma's boredom had managed to filter out the majority of the time he had had to stand out in the hallway for. When the teacher let him in, he was at his desk in almost a heartbeat, and just as bored a couple of moments later.

Ranma didn't know how he managed to survive class all the way to lunch, but he did. Nearly all day was pretty boring, too; none of his classes had Miss Hinako as a teacher, and Kuno didn't approach him, Shampoo didn't chase after him, and he wasn't splashed with cold water. When the end of the day rolled around, he was just staring at the clock, eyes half-lidded, barely even paying attention to what his teacher was saying, when he heard the teacher say something that caught his interest.

'…Also, grades for the test you did last week have all been marked; you can collect them at the front of the class here.'

Ranma froze. Tests. The one thing everyone had been on him about. His mother had asked him about them, his father had told him that he'd need to do well on them to run a dojo, Akane and Ukyou had been trying to get him to study for the past few weeks, but after all that, he'd gone into the test for this class a week ago, and had known next to nothing about it.

That was about the point when the bell rang. Half-heartedly and with a tired look on his face, Ranma stepped towards the front of the class, grabbed his test, and walked towards the door, but stopped halfway and looked down at it. No-one in this class was that interesting, and he didn't really feel like talking to anyone about how badly he'd done in his studies, but he wasn't going to just leave without checking the score.

After a few seconds of his eyes scrolling down the paper, only for them to bug out when he reached the bottom, he growled. 'Thirty percent… Dammit.'

* * *

In the school courtyard, Ranma sat alone under one of the trees to look at the test with contempt. He was supposed to get better than thirty percent- after all, Ranma Saotome was the best.

The best at martial arts, to be specific. Not the best at school.

Not that he would admit that.

Suddenly he felt a person with a larger than normal amount of ki approach.'Hey, Ranchan!'

Startled, Ranma looked over at the voice. It was Ukyou; she had gotten over Ranma kind of recently, although that was in no small part thanks to his mother, though after that had happened they hadn't talked for a while. Well, 'gotten over' probably wasn't the right way to put it; it was more like she had begrudgingly accepted her current situation and was probably going to try and win Ranma over again, but the frequency of even that had started to go down. Honestly, Ranma just hoped they could be friends after all this.

Ukyou was, of course, wearing the boy's uniform of her previous school, like she usually did. Her hair was done up like usual too, in a long bushy ponytail. 'So, Ranchan, what'd you get in the test? I got a 65.'

'Eh… 30,' Ranma said under his breath.

'Huh, Ranchan? I didn't hear you.' Ukyou cocked her head; sometimes she wished Ranma would be more open.

'Gotthirty.' This time he said it louder, but quicker.

But Ukyou managed to catch the words, as quick as Ranma said them, and blinked. 'Eh? You got thirty?'

Ranma nodded, embarrassed.

'Ranchan, what'd I tell you about studying? That was the first thing I talked with you about after your mom, well, you know.' She trailed off awkwardly. 'But still, you need to study.'

Ranma pouted. 'Don' needa study,' he mumbled, his voice even quieter.

'Yes, you do.' Ukyou almost felt like rubbing her head. 'You're not that good at schoolwork.'

'It ain't my fault that everyone who's anyone wants a piece of me in this crazy place. Or wanted.' Ranma felt some sweat start to bead on his brow when Ukyou raised an eyebrow at him.

The tension was broken when Akane, oblivious to the argument that was about to break out, ran up towards the two ex-betrothed. 'Hey, Ranma! Look what I got on my test- Oh. What's she doing here, Ranma?' Akane's eyes narrowed, turning to face him. 'Are you being a twp-timing pervert like always-'

Feeling that even more tension seemed to be building just after the previous tension was broken, Ranma held his hands up. 'Woah, woah woah! Annulled, remember?'

Akane seemed to calm down almost instantly, a smile coming back onto her face. 'Oh.; I forgot.' She chuckled, embarrassed. 'So, Ranma, would you like to guess what score I got?'

'Eh, a violent tomboy like you who's too focused on fighting? Probably a fifteen or Ow.'

Akane fumed as Ranma, his head half-buried in the tree branch above him.

'He deserved that,' commented Ukyou, watching as the man she'd tried to take as a husband fought his way out of a tree branch.

After a few minutes of Akane ranting, Ukyou being mostly silent, and Ranma just trying to get his head out of the bnranch, finally the three of them were back in their initial positions, Ranma standing, Akane looking at him, and Ukyou standing a bit off to the side.

Akane took a deep breath in, then out. She smiled again. 'Okay, Ranma, do you want to know what score I got on my test?'

This time, Ranma responded slightly more politely. 'Alright. What'd you get?' He was about to add another jab, but stopped when he felt like it was probably a bad idea.

Akane proudly showed the test off.

'What? Nintey five? That ain't fair!' Ranma protested.

'Well, I do actually study while I'm not doing martial arts, unlike you,' Akane said, a smug smile on her face. 'So, what'd you get?'

Ranma looked away.

'He got thirty,' Ukyou helpfully supplied.

Akane's face suddenly froze. Her cheeks puffed up.

Ranma braced for it.

'Bwahaha!' Akane burst out into laughter, laughter he hadn't seen before from her – hysterical laughter. 'You got thirty? Y-you, mister "I'm the best at everything" got a thirty in your test? Your _kanji_ test?'

'Shaddup,' Ranma grumbled.

Akane's laughter died down, but she still gave off the occasional snicker. And then her face turned into one of confusion. 'Aren't you good at kanji, though? I mean, that thing you did to Kuno was kind of impressive.'

'I mean, I was there on the day that they taught those kanji,' Ranma said, shrugging. 'Don't know much else.'

'But you read books a lot.'

Ranma raised his eyebrows and lowered his eyelids. 'I read the kana.'

Akane blinked. 'Oh.' She looked up at the sky, and back to Ranma. 'We should probably go home now. Daddy's going to be worried sick if I don't get home on time…' Then, she looked away, blushing slightly and smiling. 'Also, if you need help, I can study with you.'

Ranma hadn't heard the second sentence because he had paused, looking up at the sky while lost in thought. The sun was pretty low in the sky, so it was going to be nighttime soon. Besides, Akane was probably right; after Saffron, Mister Tendo had broken down whenever Akane had gotten home late, thinking her kidnapped by some other random creature, from a giant talking spider to Son Wukong the Monkey King.

He didn't notice Akane looking at him with a half-lidded expression, shaking her head, and walking off.

'You're probably right, Akane- Akane?' He looked around, then sighed. 'She's gone already.' He looked over to Ukyou and raised a hand, waving. 'See ya, Ucchan.'

'Later, Ranchan,' Ukyou said, smiling. Then, she blinked, and called out 'Ranchan! Hold up!'

Ranma, already starting to leave, stopped, turning back around to face Ukyou. 'Huh? What is it, Ucchan?'

'Just… Konatsu's been acting a bit odd lately; maybe you could ask someone to look into his behaviour?'

The pigtailed martial artist blinked. 'Konatsu? Huh. Alright, sure, I s'pose,' he said, shrugging. 'I'll make sure to get someone who knows what they're doing.'

Ukyou gave a smile. 'Thanks, Ranchan. Anyway, don't forget to study; your scores shouldn't be that low.'

Before he could finish turning around, Ranma twitched, trying to restrain himself from making a smarmy comment. Taking a deep breath, he started to walk off. He scrunched up his test scores.

'Thirty point test, thirty point test…' Ranma muttered underneath his breath, barely even noticing the Ladle Lady splashing him with water and turning him into a her.

Fuming too hard to even notice she had stopped outside of Ucchan's, she grit her teeth, and threw the test, thoroughly scrunched up by now, behind her, coincidentally at the exact same time a random guy with short, dark hair wearing a pair of sunglasses had crossed the street behind her.

The paper, no matter how hard Ranma had thrown it, was just paper, and so when it struck the man's head, all he felt was a light smack as he unconsciously caught it.

He unfolded the paper, and Ranma froze, hearing the crinkling of the paper being unfolded. She spun around to see the young man holding the paper and looking at it incredulously. She wasn't expecting anyone else to be nearby.

'Thirty percent? Looks like someone needs to do more study,' The man, who she mentally labelled 'complete and utter jackass', commented.

'Hey, gimme that!' Ranma snapped, jumping towards the jackass and snatching the test out of his hands. 'That ain't yours to read!'

'Well, if you want to get into University, Pigtail, you're probably gonna want a better score than that.' The Jackass gave a small grin, then walked forward a little, stopping in front of Ucchan's.

Meanwhile, Ranma was fuming even more now, not even noticing the weirdo staring at Ucchan's place. She hadn't sensed much ki in that guy above the norm, so that meant he probably wasn't a martial artist, which meant it was against her code to lay a hand on him, but he had just infuriated her beyond all belief. What kind of person would do that, just on their first meeting act like they're better without even knowing the other person, or even getting a chance to know them?

Hypocrisy, thy name is Saotome.

* * *

Soon, Ranma found herself outside the Tendo Dojo. She was still fuming, but her temper had gone down a bit.

'Such a goddamn jackass…'

A bit.

She walked in through the door, ignoring Nabiki and Kasumi in a conversation and Akane sitting at the TV watching something about Sailor V, and sat at the table grumpily.

Nodoka, her mother, looked up from the novel she was reading across from Ranma. 'Oh! Hello, Ranma,' she said, a smile on her face. 'Did you get your test results back yet…' She trailed off. 'Ranma, are you okay?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Ranma dismissed, waving a hand. 'Nothin' happened.'

Nodoka suddenly looked sly, putting her mouth behind her hand. 'Was it a boy?'

'Yeah, some jackass…' Ranma trailed off, then her eyes snapped wide open. 'Wait! Mom, it ain't like that!' she sputtered.

'Oh, alright,' Nodoka said, her smile becoming more genuine. 'But if you ever decide to bring a cute boy home, or to be a woman instead of a man, I'm fine with that.' Nodoka's smile increased to near brilliant levels.

Meanwhile, Ranma was confused and panicky. 'W-whaddaya mean? I ain't no girl, Mom! I ain't gonna bring home no boy!' she protested. 'Besides, what about the contract!'

Nodoka blinked. 'Oh, yes, the contract. That contract.' Then she smiled. 'If you're a girl, then you're not a boy, right? So you don't have to be a man among men by marrying a woman.' Her smile softened. 'Besides, one will never know where they might find love.' Then, she smiled brilliantly again, although this time she looked a little manic. 'Of course, you must still be a man among men in all other ways. Just because I am open to you bringing home a man does not mean you should stop being manly.'

Uh, okay,' Ranma said uncertainly. Sometimes her mother scared her.

Then Nodoka's eyes widened. 'Oh! I forgot to mention this, but your cousin's birthday is coming up soon, and she's going to be turning 15. Do you want to go?'

'I dunno...' Ranma looked down. 'Knowing me, everything's gonna go wrong. 'Sides, she might not even like me.'

'Oh, nonsense! Usagi and her brother Shingo are so sweet; they'll love having their older cousin over.'

Ranma looked at her dad for support, but the old panda was rolling around in the yard, playing with a tire.

She glared.

He held up a sign which read _Don't mind me, I'm just a panda._

Ranma felt like hitting him with a huge rock. She looked around the rest of the room; Akane was moving a bit uncomfortably, like she had heard something they'd said, but Kasumi and Nabiki were talking animatedly over near the door.

'I ain't gonna marry a dude…' Ranma muttered.

She stomped out of the room. Nodoka watched, her smile behind her hand again. 'Ah, I remember when I was her age… We had so much in common,' she said, shaking her head and smiling; Ranma had certainly got her temper and rudeness from her. Young love…

* * *

Ranma sat on the futon, her arms crossed. 'I ain't gonna date a guy,' she mumbled, the burning fury she felt for the idea even being a possibility running through her brain. 'There ain't no way…'

Suddenly, behind her, she heard a sound – the sound of someone dropping into her room through the window.

Turning around as quickly as she could, Ranma felt her hands come up into a martial arts stance before she could even see what it was.

When she DID see what it was, she jumped up onto the ceiling, tears forming in her eyes as she clutched onto it, barely suppressing a wail.

It was that weird cat from this morning again – the one with the crescent moon on it's forehead.

'C-c-c-cat...' she mumbled under her breath, too scared to move.

'Saotome Ranma.'

Ranma's eyes bugged. Then, remembering what the old ghoul had trained her, she started to breathe deeply, in and out. 'It's just a cat, it can't hurt me,' she muttered under her breath, repeating the mantra several times. Finally, with one last deep breath she composed herself. The old hag may have wanted her to marry Shampoo, but her training was undeniably effective. She was still nervous, but anything short of hostility from the cat would probably be fine.

Speaking of the cat, it was wearing a dumbfounded expression, which faded into a more controlled but sad one.

Ranma dropped down from the ceiling wearing a composed expression, her feet thumping on the futon, barely missing the wooden boards that made up the floor of the room. After a few seconds, they stopped vibrating.

'So, y-you can talk?' Ranma asked. 'W-weird. A talking cat.' She laughed, her eyes scouring the room and trying to look anywhere but at the feline.

The cat looked like it was fighting an urge to snap back, but then it – or rather, she – sighed, and nodded. 'Yes, I can talk. Ranma, you have been chosen-'

'And you're not a g-ghost cat?' By now, Ranma had started to calm down. The cat wasn't attacking her, or yowling, so that put her above Shampoo by at least a few rungs.

The cat blinked, and cocked her head. 'Where'd you get that idea from?' She shook her head. 'Look, anyway, as I was saying, you have been chosen; no, destined, to be a-'

Ranma's eyes narrowed in on the cat's forehead. More specifically, the weird marking that looked like the moon. 'Are you sure you're not a ghost cat?'

'Stop interrupting me!' the cat snapped.

Ranma jumped, almost hitting the ceiling again. She started to shake. 'Cat, cat, cat,' she mumbled.

An expression of guilt broke out on the cat's face. She watched Ranma do the calming exercise again, this time taking a bit longer as she sat down on the futon. Eventually, Ranma looked calm enough that the cat thought she could talk.

She smiled awkwardly. 'I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.'

Ranma looked up. Her eyes darted to the side, but she looked calmer, if a bit more nervous than before. 'I-it's okay. It's not like you knew or anything.'

The cat cleared her throat with a cough, and Ranma suppressed a jump before the cat continued. 'Anyway, as I was saying, you, Saotome Ranma, are destined to become a guardian of the planets – a hero and defender of love and justice.' The cat smiled. 'My name is Luna, and I am here to be a guide or a helper of sorts in your quest.' Some sadness tinged those words. Ranma could guess why.

Before Ranma could ask any questions, Luna backflipped, and with a flash of light an odd-looking brooch dropped onto the futon Ranma was sitting on – a brooch with a crescent on the bottom and a circular pink crystal that took up the very top of the brooch, surrounded by a red, green, yellow and blue gem. 'This brooch is yours. Take it, say the words that first come to mind, and you'll transform!'

While Ranma looked at the brooch curiously – and cautiously given how many times some artefact had done something dumb or humiliating to her – Luna sighed in relief. That little speech she'd given had almost gone off track, with all those interruptions by Ranma. Thank goodness she managed to stop him – or as it seemed at the moment, her – from interrupting.

Ranma, meanwhile, was looking at the brooch that had alighted itself on her futon curiously. She poked at it a couple of times.

When it did nothing, like make a big cloud of smoke or suck her into it, she picked it up. 'Huh, this weighs heavier than it looks,' she said.

At least, tried to say.

Instead, the words she found coming out of her mouth were 'Moon Prism Power… Make Up!'

The transformation only took a couple of seconds. But for Ranma, it seemed to take an eternity.

She didn't like to describe it, but there were a lot of flashing lights, to say the least.

After a couple of seconds, Ranma stood there in her new costume. She looked down, and blinked. Then blinked. Again.

She turned to Luna, her anger eclipsing her fear. 'What the hell is this?'

Luna, taken a bit aback by Ranma's rather vehement response, coughed. 'W-well, you're Sailor Moon. This is your uniform that you use to fight monsters for Love and justice.'

'Sailor Moon, huh? Kinda weird name, but better than I expected. Does it have to be such a girly costume though?' Ranma complained. She looked down at the costume again. She had a red bow, and a leotard made of fabric that looked almost like a Sailor suit on; a sleeveless leotard with three tubes around her arm. The leotard had a collar, a blue one with white stripes on it. On the center of her bow, the brooch that Luna had given her just then sat. She had a blue mini-skirt, one that thankfully didn't prevent her from fighting well, on over the bottom half of the leotard. She had white fabric gloves on with pink tubes on the side, and two red-with-white-borders high heels that had crescent moons in the centre in front. And from the metal she could feel on her head, she was apparently wearing a tiara, and had two jewels or something stuck on top of her head. And from what she felt from her ears, she was apparently wearing crescent moon earrings. All this seemed strangely familiar…

Ranma froze, and remembered back to the magical girl shows Akane had watched on the TV before this Sailor V craze had started up. They all had these long flashy transformations, and ended up in girly suits as well.

'Did you turn me into a magical girl?' Ranma asked, her voice wavering.

Luna blinked. 'Magical… girl? Huh, I never really thought of it that way…' she muttered under her breath, before clearing her throat. 'Anyway! You have two missions! The first mission is to defeat Youma, these odd monsters that have recently been attacking innocent people around Tokyo. As for your second, you must find the Princess of the Moon Kingdom.'

'You want me to find a princess?' Ranma asked.

Luna nodded.

'Me? Lookin' for a princess?' Ranma asked again. And blinked. 'Wait, crap! I am a magical girl!' She shook her head. 'What happened this time? Is this all just a dream, or did some weirdo use magic to put me in one of that macho chick's magical girl anime?'

'Ranma!' Luna snapped, and Ranma snapped to attention once again, barely keeping control of her fear. 'This isn't a dream! This is REALITY! People are in danger every second of the day, and you need to help them-'

'Shh!' Ranma put a finger up to her mouth. Coming from the jewels on top of her head, she could hear an odd sound. It sounded like... Ukyou, calling for help? She looked to Luna. 'Do you know what that sound is?' she asked.

Luna gasped, then nodded. 'Ranma, that's someone in danger! When those jewels light up and make a noise, it means someone's being attacked by a Youma!'

Ranma's face hardened. 'So Ucchan's in danger?' she said, her fear of Luna suppressed for now.

Luna nodded.

'Well, I ain't gonna sit around doing nothing while one of my friends is in trouble! Even if I have to use this damn girly thing while I'm doin' it…' Shaking her head, Ranma turned to the window. 'Alright, then; you can move pretty fast, right?'

Luna did the equivalent of raising an eyebrow. 'Yes, I can. So?'

'Just wanna know if you'll be able to keep up.' With that, Ranma jumped out the window, setting off towards Ucchan's.

* * *

Ucchan's Okonomiyaki was a fairly small restaurant. It didn't have much in the way of size, even though the quality of the Okonomiyaki it sold was quite good. Therefore, during Rush Hour, generally the store was packed to the brim full of customers. That meant that the other customers would have to sit outside and eat in the streets.

Customers which, Ranma noted from her vantage point on top of the building opposite her friend's restaurant, seemed to be unconscious. And drained of ki.

'The hell?' she muttered underneath her breath. 'This looks like somethin' the old freak woulda done, or miss Hinako. They're all asleep, though…'

Beside her, Luna looked down on the outside of the store and shivered. 'No, they're not just asleep. All their energy has been drained. If it's not returned soon…' She trailed off.

Ranma looked down at Luna, her eyes wide. Even though she hadn't finished her sentence, Ranma wasn't stupid enough to not know what Luna had meant. She felt a burning fury inside of her. There was just no way she was gonna let that 'Youma', whatever it was, kill innocent people like that!

Ranma jumped down off the building she was on, across the road to just in front of the restaurant. The door was pulled open, and from her spot, she could see Ukyou being held by a creature that seemed to be wearing Konatsu's robes from behind in a chokehold. Ukyou was gagging, her head moving back and forth as she tried to pry the hand of the monster that was holding her apart to no avail.

'Hey, you!' Ranma shouted, and suddenly the monster's attention was diverted. Its neck twisted around at an 190 degree angle, a grotesque mockery of human flesh, and it looked directly at Ranma, its face sagging and the whites of its eyes a dark black, with yellow irises and black pupils.

'Eh? Who're you?' the creature asked, its voice a guttural growl that almost seemed like it was grating on Ranma's ears.

Ranma just smirked. 'I'm R-' She stopped. Her mouth somehow held in place, but a second later started again. This time, she couldn't control the words coming out of her mouth. 'I'm a protector of love and justice! Even though you've taken in all these people with your promise of delicious food, I won't let you ruin the name of this restaurant to do so!' With that said, Ranma started to do a couple of poses, trying to stop herself, but it seemed like she couldn't. She felt her mouth opening again. 'I'm Sailor Moon! And in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!'

'Sailor Moon? Never heard of it,' the Youma said, turning around to face Ranma again, this time more fully. She dropped Ukyou, who looked like she had succumbed to the depths of unconsciousness. It waved a hand. 'My slaves, attack this Sailor Moon girl!'

The unconscious people around the Okonomiyaki store started to stir, and stood up. Their eyes were closed, and Ranma could still feel the absence of ki, but when they moved forward it was less like an actual person and more like a zombie.

Ranma's eyes widened. 'Dammit,' she said, growling under her breath. How was she supposed to stop these people without hurting them? None of them were martial artists, so the best she could do is knock them unconscious.

Unconscious… Ranma's eyes widened. She smirked. 'Alright, then, time to do this!' she said. She'd seen Happosai use a pressure point to knock people unconscious before, so she could probably use it.

Probably.

Ranma shot forward, reaching the first of the enthralled customers, and punched forward with her arm, unfolding her finger at the last minute to touch the pressure point.

When she did, the customer fell unconscious, dropping to the floor like a string had just been cut. A smile slowly spread across Ranma's face.

'Oh, yeah,' she said, Suddenly, with blinding speed so fast that even she was surprised by it, Ranma had started to feel her way through the crowd, one by one poking them in the pressure point and knocking them down.

The youma, meanwhile, was furious. It sneered, and held out an arm. 'Stop that!' it screamed, its arm extending grotesquely. All the thralls it had previously been controlling fell to the ground in a daze, unconsciousness a haven for them. Ranma, hearing the Youma's shout, turned to face it, preparing to fight the extending arm off.

But not before the arm was clipped by a rose from outside the store. Ranma and the Youma both looked towards the source of the rose.

Sitting on top of the building opposite theirs was a man wearing a Tuxedo suit. His appearance sent a strange feeling fluttering through Ranma's stomach, something she had felt only a few times before but never realised what it was. 'Sailor Moon. Believe in yourself, and you can defeat this monster,' the mysterious man said. With that, he jumped away, seemingly disappearing into the ether.

For a few seconds, Ranma was trying to figure out what that feeling was, before Luna shouted at her 'Throw that tiara, and shout Moon Tiara Action while you're doing it!'

Ranma barely kept herself from jumping up to the roof from the cat's presence, and instead blinked, confused. 'Throw the tiara?' she asked.

Luna nodded.

Ranma shrugged. 'Oh well, I guess I can try.' She reached up to her forehead, instinctively grasping the gem in the center. When she touched it and lifted it off, it seemed to transform into a disc of some sort. A disc that was glowing with light and floating above her hand.

Mentally shrugging, Ranma shouted 'Moon Tiara Action!' and threw the tiara Frisbee, which flew through the air for a few seconds before hitting the Youma. It exploded into a ball of pink light and glitter, before returning to Ranma, and the Youma started to float in the air for a couple of seconds, before it crumbled into dust and faded away.

Ranma could hear the customers in the shop start to stir, and her eyes widened. 'Crap, I gotta go before any of them see me!' she muttered. At least a few of the people there had been fellow students from Furinkan High, and her reputation which was already pretty bad was going to be shot to hell, with all the girls calling her perverts and the boys asking for her to wear the stupid sailor suit so they had something to perv on. With that being said, she ran over to Luna, picked her up (although the cat protested with a squawked 'hey!' she didn't stop Ranma), and jumped off.

* * *

In a dark room in a mysterious place, a blonde man with cold eyes and a military suit had a frown on his face. His youma had been foiled, and the energy it had collected had been dispersed. 'Sailor Moon... It looks like I'm going to have to watch out for you in the future,' he said.

* * *

It was only a few minutes after her first 'adventure' as Sailor Moon when Ranma returned to the Tendo Dojo, coming through the same window she exited from. She set Luna down on the bed unceremoniously, barely keeping herself from shuddering from the cat's presence, and asked 'So how do I get this stupid thing off?'

'Uh, well, you think about getting it off and it just comes off,' Luna said, trying to stop herself from becoming too dizzy from all the jumps Ranma had done.

Ranma sighed in relief. Closing her eyes, she focused on being back in her normal clothes, she could feel herself detransform, the comfortable and familiar weight of her Chinese clothes on her body more obvious. Not that the leotard didn't feel comfortable, but it was different.

After a couple of seconds, Ranma paused, and turned to Luna. 'You should probably stay up here since everyone will probably be scared I'll go Nekoken even with my new training,' she said as bluntly as possible. Before Luna could say anything else, she opened the door, walked out, and shut it again.

Luna would probably be fine. After all, she had presumably been fine while living on the streets.

Meanwhile, in the men's (and half women's) Saotome room, Luna just sat there dumbly, wondering what exactly 'Nekoken' was. Then she huffed, and lay down on Ranma's futon. She started to fall asleep.

Ranma walked down the stairs, putting a hand in front of her mouth while she yawned. The fight hadn't tired her out; really, she'd been tired all day.

When she entered the main room, she found most of the Tendos and her mom and dad sitting around, her dad out of his panda form and instead sitting there looking resigned next to her mom.

Then when she entered, the whole room's attention shifted to her. 'Boy, what were you doing up there for so long? Dinner is almost ready!'

'Shaddup, pops,' she grumbled, sitting at the table next to her mom and Akane, who was looking at Ranma oddly. 'Does anyone have hot water? I need some right about now.'

From nearby, Mr Tendo, who was watching the TV from his spot, looked over to Ranma. He blinked. 'Oh, here you go, Ranma my boy,' he said, passing a cup of tea that he had almost finished. It was still hot enough to trigger the curse, thankfully.

Ranma accepted the cup without a complaint, and turned it upside down, dumping it onto her head.

A couple of seconds later, the rest of the table froze, except Nodoka, who just looked at Ranma curiously.

'What?' she asked. Then she blinked.

 _She_ blinked.

The resulting scream could be heard from the neighbourhood over.

* * *

AN: So there weren't many people doing Fukufics, and nobody doing one like I wanted. So I decided to write one, even as cliche as it is.

Edit: I've updated the story a bit. Also, to people who want me to use " instead of ', read more real books. " is used for quoting and ' is used for words.


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